Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Lifechanging Life and Song

I'm no Theologian, (No...seriously. I'm a mom and I sell underground fences, but that does not necessarily mean I am a Theologian.) but I have had a faith in Jesus since I was young.  Since High School I have had questions about my faith and the realness of Jesus.  Not necessarily doubts, but questions.  Don't judge.

Example, if God doesn't give you more than you can handle, why do people commit suicide?  I know, I know...With Jesus' strength we can handle it all.  When we are weak, He is strong.  I believe that.  I also know all of the arguments against my question.  On the other hand, that person in that situation couldn't handle it at that time, cutting their life short.  The didn't/couldn't/wouldn't turn to Jesus when they need Him most.  In the end, they could not handle it. 

Believe me, I believe all scripture is God breathed and fully true, but because I'm human, I have questions that my little noggin can't fully understand.

Ok, change of scenery, but we'll be going full circle before long.
This summer I joined a fitness club.  I joined in an effort to socialize my daughter and transform myself from the skinny fat girl to a toned babe (ha)!  Not long after joining the club, I learned I don't like to run in place and I don't enjoy lifting weights. 

Then, with a few of my neighbor girls, I took a Zumba class.  Zumba is a choreographed dance workout.  I was hooked from the first class on.  Seriously hooked!  The music was relevant and fun, the energy was high and the instructor was inspiring!  Each class I'd leave feeling stronger, more confident, sexier and revived!  As a non-workouter, (please don't look that word up) I always wish that 1 hour class was 2 hours.

I think it's a mix from the fact that (although I'd sweat buckets and burn 500+ calories per workout) it is FUN and the instructor is real, authentic, and passionate about life, family and about Zumba.  Her following is huge, which isn't surprising if you've been to any of her classes.

I went to Zumba last Wednesday night, but slept in through the scheduled Thursday class.  Feeling guilty I missed a class that I could have gone to, I looked at my instructor's Facebook page to read all of the rave reviews from other Zumba-ers. 

My heart skipped a beat when reading tons and tons of people telling the instructor she was in their prayers and they were praying for her family, specifically her daughter.  I don't know them personally, but was immediately concerned because A.) I'm my daughter is my world and B.) This instructor has made a huge impact on me.

I try not to be a tweenager; checking Facebook minutely.  However, I checked my Facebook page all throughout the evening.  Before long, I learned through fellow Zumba-ers, that our loved instructor's precious 4 year old daughter suffered from aneurysm that Thursday morning.

With everything I had, I prayed for the adorable, beautiful, beaming 4 year old and for her whole family and all of her friends.  Jesus heard from me more than normal that night.  I literally couldn't sleep thinking of what this family was going through.

Mid morning Friday, I learned the little girl passed away.

Why Jesus?  This doesn't make any sense.

I didn't personally know this girl, but even writing this now I have tears in my eyes. 

Can you imagine being the little girl, or her parents, or her siblings, or her grandparents, or her friends...  Think of all the people missing this seemingly healthy 4 year old that was taken before their eyes.  It's unimaginable.

It didn't/doesn't make sense.  This pure little girl, from a loving, Christian family, passes away out of nowhere.  Why didn't God intervene and save her?  It baffles me.  Jesus is in control and He's bigger than everything, but a young girl dies.  I want answers, for my faith's sake, so imagine how her family feels.  Again, it's unbearable.

I struggled with whether or not I should go to the funeral.  Nobody likes funerals.  Nobody telling me I should go.  Nobody would expect me to be there. 

At the same time, nobody could tell me I couldn't go.  This little, innocent girl could be anyone...It could have happened to my family.

I went.  The funeral, from beginning to end, has made an enormous impact on my life.

  Please listen to the song linked up below.  A beautiful slideshow was prepared to this song.

The words from the song answer more questions than I realized I had.

Honestly, why do I think we should all be saved from nightmares?  The Bible never says we will be saved from all heartache.  Jesus' promise is that when everything falls (because of sin) we'll be held.  Jesus will hold us, walk beside us and rebuild us when life doesn't go the way we planned.

This beautiful young girl's life has shown me that our life on earth is not our whole life.  Jesus has way more in store for us after our stint here.

My prayers, thoughts and best wishes to a beautiful family who has touched my life!


1 comment:

  1. Hi, just stumbled across your blog. I totally understand your question. I guess what gets me through is that this life isn't it for us all. As much as Jesus can strengthen us and hear our prayers he doe have a plan for all of us. And sometimes that means coming home to see him. This world isn't home. It is easy to get caught up in that idea, but this world is hardly perfect. It is so horribly sad what this family went through but somethings are just beyond our scope of understanding. For me, it helps knowing that God is Sovereign. Even if it is hard for us to understand at the time. Trusting that his infinite wisdom beats out my finite knowledge.